Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
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He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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