If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Watching her eat just hurts me
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
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