And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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