Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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