best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
a search helicopter?!
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize