yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize