1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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