Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It was confusing and full of hummus
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Less talking, more tequila
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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