Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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