Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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