hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize