Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize