wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I smell stomach acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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