im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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