I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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