Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize