Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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