can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize