I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
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she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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