I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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