He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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