ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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