Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
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Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
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Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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