I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize