I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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