Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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