just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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