She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize