in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
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He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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