yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize