Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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