You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
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well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
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Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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