His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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