I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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