I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize