How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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