in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
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you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize