So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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