winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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