looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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