so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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