He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
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how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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