I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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