I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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