Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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