I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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