You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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