So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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