is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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