As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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